This is not my ceiling
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Enjoy the penises
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
