Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize