i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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