The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
