I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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