is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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