i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
