thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
