It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
