I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
