So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
