she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
