Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
