I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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