you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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