you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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