Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
