I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
