i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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