I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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