I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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