Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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