Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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