Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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