As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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