just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
