"it" just moved
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
