who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
