he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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