...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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