its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
