So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
