I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
