Dual....:-)
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
