ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
