Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
