i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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