I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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