Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
