no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
