The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
