i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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