Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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