sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
