"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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