Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
are you so shy because you have an std?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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