pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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