thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
