3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
