Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
