Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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