On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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