Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
