i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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