All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
