I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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