these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
