What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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