JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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