If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
